Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Two creepy things

1. The Catholic church near my house that frequently plays "God Bless America" on its bells. I believe no explanation of why this is creepy is required.

2. Subway. Possibly the creepiest of all fast food restaurants. I was forced into a situation today where I had to eat some. I ate half of the smaller size of a veggie sub on wheat, with no oil or mayonnaise or dressing or anything, and my stomach felt like shit for hours afterwards. A bunch of vegetables on bread upset my stomach. Something is seriously wrong with this food. Also, what the fuck is that smell? It's like nothing else in or out of nature and it is gross. And lingering.

On another note, I should really stop saying that some upcoming post is going to be up soon, because it just guarantees that it won't be. So, news from the corporate world and other posting to continue, probably, sometime.


Randal Graves said...

That's not creepy. I once knew a church that, while they played patriotic songs on its bells, fed the attendees at their indoctrination rituals masquerading as charity with Subway.

David said...

The Subway scent does exist in nature. It smells like the beer soaked vomit left to fester in a bar bathroom.

The entryway to our nearest Walmart has a Subway, and that wall of stink is even more of a deterrent than the clientele.

AlanSmithee said...

Subways don't sell food. They sell stomach lining for binge drinkers.

Ethan said...

Randal, it's not exactly what you said, but now I have images of a church using Subway "sandwiches" as communion wafers. And maybe Snapple or something as wine.

David, ugh. I almost agree--the smell, now you point it out, is similar. But still--there's a chemical otherworldliness to the Subway smell that I've never come across anywhere else. Your mention of a deterring scent at the entrance of an unappealing-anyway store puts me in mind also of Abercrombie & Fitch.

Alan, I don't know--I feel like if I combined Subway and booze I would do far more than just vomit.